18 Goals Prince George Hopes to Accomplish in 2016

One has just received Prince George’s New Year’s resolution list, and it’s…ambitious. That’s not to say it’s not doable, but one admires His Royal Highness for the goals he sets forth.

May I present, George of Cambridge’s goals:

Tune Out The Haters

“I’m sorry, Catherine.  Did you just point your finger at me? Me, to whom you will one day curtsy?”

 

 Get Familiar With Other Powerful Leaders

“You’re the chap who talks to plants, no?”

 

Hire a Hair Stylist

“LOOK at this mess atop my head. Don’t we have someone on the plane who can deal with this?”

 

Hire Someone To Carry Me, Lion King-Style

“I’m not a sack of oats, Catherine.  Raise me higher so that I may see my people.”

 

More Solo Photoshoots

“My word, such rosy cheeks I have.”

 

Leave Catherine at Home During Polo Events

“Obstruction of the crown!  One is being manhandled!”

 

Do Something About…This

“She’s selling hair straighteners as a Duchess. Really.”

 

Wear More Fur

“Lord Disick reminded me that brocade and fur need to make a comeback.  If it was good enough for Henry VIII, well…”

 

Work On a More Powerful Presence

“Somehow, the girly short suit doesn’t scream ‘Future Sovereign.'”

 

Spend More Time With The Royal Pirate

“She’s a hoot, that Princess Michael.  Matching the eye patch to her Ascot outfit. Such fun!”

 

Size Up Sweden’s Next Royal

“Mummy and daddy’s crew is lovely, but terribly basic.  One would like to get acquainted with the continental HRHs and HMs .”

“Also, might date the girl twin for a spell.”

Don’t Get Pushed Around

“I’m gonna me in 2016. Self-care all year.”

 

Get Involved With The Community.

“But make sure I’m controlling a big truck. It’s such a thrill to watch the giant claw pick up dirt.”

 

More Jewels on Catherine

“One realizes that mummy wants to remain a home counties girl at heart, but the fact of the matter is that she’s a future consort. There are girls all over Long Island who do this with plastic crowns.  PLASTIC. CROWNS.”

 

Spend Quality Time With Charlotte*

“*In front of the cameras, so as to further improve one’s image.”

 

More One-On-Ones with Her Majesty

“Without #2 getting so involved (bugger off, William).”

 

Take a Page from THISGUY

“When Philip wants to take the picture, f–king do it!”

 

Live Life Like a BOSS

“Or a king. Living life like a king sounds better.”