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Kate Middleton: What I Did On My Day Trip To Scotland (Satire)

kate middleton tennis coaching workshop scotland ground

Andrew Milligan/WPA-Pool

Dear Diary,

It’s only February and already I regret not getting a Smythson.

Why on earth did I listen to James and get the gauche Hermes?  I should have shopped local.  Kept it British.  Let George do the selecting instead.

What am I writing about?  Right, the trip to Edinburgh for Place2Be and tennis fun with Andy’s mum.

Tash had my Sportmax coat neatly kept since I wore it on Christmas Day, so I paired that with a knit and a lovely skirt by Le Kilt.

Going north of the border is a bit of a buzz kill because of the title downgrade.  No wonder Sophie cozies up to granny so often.  “Countess” gets you nowhere, and it must be a dreadful cross to bear all the time.

Back to the children.  They were a delight, and a few even curtsied and called me “Duchess.”

I didn’t correct them.

As luck would have it, my engagement took place at St. Catherine’s Primary School.  The students got me to take part in a singalong  of “It’s Good to See You Here,” which was a gas, and I was quite proud of the work the charity was doing there.

Paul Hunter, the school’s headmaster, told the reporters that “kids can’t be educationally literate without first being emotionally literate,” a nod to the impact Place2Be has had on the mental wellness of Scotland’s whipper snappers.

The photo below pleased me. Making a note to have William get it framed.  Perhaps the Royal Collection has an 18th century frame not in use.

Embed from Getty Images

 

After that was done, I popped over to Craigmount High School, where Judy Murray was teaching a Tennis on the Road program, aimed at helping coaches grow the game at the grassroots level.

Grassroots level? More like grassHOOTS!    I spun rackets, showed off how great my core is with sit-ups and ran around like a spring chicken.

.@TennisOnTheRoad skills workshop with @judmoo @CraigmountPE #Edinburgh #Tennis pic.twitter.com/p3p95Zfrkz

— Kensington Palace (@KensingtonRoyal) February 24, 2016

I may or may not have told this youth that she was terrible at spinning a racket.

kate middleton young student tennis coaching workshop scotland

Andrew Milligan/WPA-Pool

The Nike half zip I wore was quite comfortable, and perfect for a round at the Queen’s Club.  I wasn’t sure about the Monreal pants at first, but I think they sold out after the press photos were released.  So, there you have it.

How about my torso, right?  Not bad after two kids.

Since I’m kinda/sorta/massively great at tennis, I felt as though I was coaching alongside Judy (we’re on a first name basis now).

Simon Perry, that lovely chap who reports for the American Magazine that always selects the most flattering photos me, posted a video that – as luck would have it – my diary is programmed to share (perhaps I will keep the Hermes).

Simon knows this because I’ve had my people rib him, but sadly I am not Princess Kate.

I know this because Bea and Eug cornered me a few years back to explain that I was a blood royal and therefore not allowed to put “Princess” before my name.

Horrible women.

Lovely video, Simon!

Watch: Princess Kate make a dash in mini-relay @TennisOnTheRoad workshop pic.twitter.com/v5UM8dSfVI

— Simon Perry (@SPerryPeoplemag) February 24, 2016

 

Alright.  Time to have someone pick outfits for India and Bhutan while I sit on a divan and give a Yes or No.

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© Kelly Lynch and The Duchess Diary, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Kelly Lynch and The Duchess Diary with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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